what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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