I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
