i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
