And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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