Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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