Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
