Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
