Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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