We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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