KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
