Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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