My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
