I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
