but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
