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She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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