there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
