HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
