I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
