And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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