My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
