You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Everyone says I win the strip club
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