The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
