he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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