you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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