god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
