And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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