i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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