She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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