his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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