At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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