But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I smell stomach acid.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
