I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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