i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
