Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
