You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Someone shit on the floor
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
