Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
