i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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