Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
