she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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