He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Mom said you looked used
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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