I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My breath smells like gin and sadness
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
