we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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