i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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