I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
