Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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