we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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