the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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