you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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