Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
