she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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