did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
