I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
